So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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