New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize