Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
