This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
