i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
