This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
