i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
