while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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