I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
