I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
being pregnant is like rehab
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
