I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
