it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
