And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
