anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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