I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
