I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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