I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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