thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
