She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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