Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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