Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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