then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
