I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
