New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
