My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize