Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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