R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
