He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
