Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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