Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
