dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
