I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
