If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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