**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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