Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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