I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
