If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
