the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
