He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
