awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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