I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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