She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
