is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
