Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
