I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i love accidental penises.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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