Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
