if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
