It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize