Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
