Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Even my vagina gasped.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
