Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
