i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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