Please, let me fuck your mom
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You smell like stripper and shame
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
