She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
