I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
