I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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