I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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