I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize